Beach and a Strange Meeting
I love to walk on the beach any time I get the opportunity. It refreshes my spirit and my gratitude is exemplified. On days I don’t get to take that walk, I make sure that I get a glimpse of it every day. It’s been part of my recovery and continues to be a ritual in my life since my husband Steve died by suicide in 2005.
This is my story for one of those beach walks on a warm, sunny day. It seemed to be ordinary, but I find more and more that most of my days become extra-ordinary in some way. This day I passed a man and we began to speak. First, we spoke about the beach glass that I was collecting. And after a few minutes of discussing the significance of the color of my pieces our conversation unexpectetedly took a turn. The man began to tell me how his wife died. He said she died by suicide and he was the one to find her. Does that seem strange? It might not have been if he knew I was a grief coach. But I wasn’t wearing a grief coach button on my shirt to announce it! Despite that, I don’t think it strange at all that our paths crossed.
Universals Laws at Work
I believe one of the universal laws was in operation. It’s called the “law of attraction”. The experience of our pain attracted us to each other. We both lost someone we loved to suicide. He needed someone to talk to and I was avaliable to listen. His pain was open and raw. He shared that he thought about taking his own life by drowning himself. He had every opportunity to do so since he was on Lake Michigan, but something kept him from it. A voice inside him told him that he needed to be responsible to his children. He had a purpose and a role to play because of them.
What I realized most at that moment is that he needed to talk and express his feelings to someone; hence, I was the perfect person to be found, in the right place and at the right time. Unfortunately, men seldom get the opportunity to truly express themselves. Sadly, our society considers it a sign of weakness. Men must roll up their sleeves and pretend that they have everything under control. The truth is that men need support just as much as women and children do. I believe that our society doesn’t encourage this enough.
Thankfully there are support groups available for men, but I don’t think our society as a whole encourages men to search for them. They don’t utilize them because they are the providers, the ones that are supposed to have it together and never cry! That is a false and damaging idea, especially when it’s related to suicide.
How do men go on and live productive healthy lives if they have never dealt with their grief?
Men need support too!
If you are a man reading this, do you find this to be true? Have you had the support you needed? If so, how did you get it? Me and my readers would love to hear your comments.
In conclusion, if you are reading this because you have lost someone you loved, please don’t hesitate to get the help you need. You are not alone, there are men just like you who need help too.
Allow yourself to express your emotions so that you and others can be healed.
P.S. I hope to run into the man once again on the beach and learn that he is doing well. My walks will continue so I can be a vessel for someone in need and encourage anyone who crosses my path. I am open and receptive to the laws of the universe.
Therefore, If you are in need, I offer a 20-minute free consultation. Please don’t hesitate to contact me at www.robinchodak.com
Love and Light,
Certified Greif,Life,Spiritual Coach
Master NLP Practitioner Reiki Practitioner