What are your emotions saying to you?
Have you ever thought to write a letter to yourself? Why should you? To express those pent up emotions that are eating your insides up. I am not referring to those normal emotions associated with grief. Those emotions must be processed and then let go of as part of your grief journey. The emotions that I am referring to are those that keep you frozen in a stuck state.
Stuck states are something I understand because I was in one after Steve died by suicide in 2005. I also understand what it means to get “unstuck”. This is where the work must take place that can ultimately lead to your transformation.
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It is possible to learn to live and love life after loss. But only when you begin to do the work. So where do you start?
You begin with an emotion that is always hanging over year head and affects every decision you make. It’s that one that keeps you from moving in a forward direction.
Emotions that keep you stuck!
Let’s take the emotion of guilt. I talk about it often because that was the one that kept me stuck. I needed to identify why I couldn’t let go of my guilt after Steve died. Of course, you may feel guilty because of your loved ones suicide and that’s a normal reaction, but my guilt was extreme. In addition to feeling guilty that I couldn’t save Steve, I felt guilty over every aspect of my life. This is not a good place to be! This is called a “stuck state”.
You may feel the emotion of guilt as well or another emotion. Only you can determine those that keep you stuck, but often times you need someone to help you uncover those emotions.
Some good news!
The good news is once you realize that the emotion has trapped you, it no longer has power over you. I realized that my guilt started when I was young. I never forgave myself for becoming pregnant at 15. Therefore this was the part of my self that I needed to work on. This was my “shadow self”. It’s the self that I always ran away from because I didn’t want to face it. We all have shadow sides of ourselves and if not acknowledged they will continue to haunt us and keep us stuck.
What is your shadow?
Chances are if you are in a “stuck state” it means the shadow self is still in the dark. Once it is revealed or comes into the light the change occurs. Exposure into the light will dismiss the fear. Think of a child afraid of their room in the dark. Once the light goes on the fear goes away!
Light allows you to see clearly. You begin to see the truth about yourself. You discover those things or shadows about yourself that you need to forgive. Once you do that you can move forward. This is the journey of self-discovery and working with your shadow self.
One practical way to begin is to write a letter to yourself and ask for forgiveness. You may need to forgive someone else as well. Maybe you never forgave your loved one for taking his or her life. Forgiveness must happen before the light can shine.
I have shared with you some important tidbits to help you get out of your stuck state. As always, I am here to help.
P.S. Some of you reading this have gone through your healing journey and feel that you are in a position to help others but don’t know where to start. You are in the right place here at the Grief Healing LLC where you can be trained to become a certified grief healing coach.
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Love and Light,
Certified Grief, Life, Spiritual Coach
Certified Master NLP Practitioner, Reiki Practitioner, Mindfulness Meditation teacher