Holidays are here. You are what you eat. - Robin Chodak

Holidays are here. You are what you eat.

The holidays are upon us and you are probably overwhelmed with planning or lack of planning. Therefore, I am not going to preach about how it’s easy to overeat, binge on sweets and drink too much eggnog during the holidays! Most of the population has a hard time restraining during this time and you may be included. I think you already know if you are one of those who do. If not, then Kudos to you!

I’m not going to talk about diets, instead what I want to know is; how are you dealing with the holidays if you are in grief?

Holidays often add extra pounds and extra stress regardless if you’re grieving or not. If you recently lost a loved one I imagine that buying hams, turkeys and desserts is the last thing on your mind. It certainly was for me in 2005 and 2019 when I lost the loves of my life. Yet, I know, it’s important to not be hard on ourselves.  It’s normal to feel this way. I know you may be putting demands on yourself if you were the one who always had holidays at your house. It was the same for me!

I can offer you some suggestions and some food for thought!

You can do what I did in 2005. I told my family, “No I can’t do it”. Yes it takes a lot of courage but you know what? Everyone understood and if they didn’t I couldn’t worry about it. I was too stricken with grief to do so. The ironic thing is that I have not had a holiday dinner at my home ever since and it has opened the door to many wonderful experiences with others that I never imagined. So, I don’t miss it. I created a new tradition for myself and it’s very satisfying. 

Does that seem too difficult for you?  Then ask someone if they would like to volunteer to have it at their home. If no one steps up to the plate you can decide on a restaurant that is agreeable to all and make reservations.  

If you want to do something out of the ordinary you can volunteer to work at a homeless shelter or any organization that prepares meals for those in need. Doing acts of kindness and service can help lift you out of your own pain.  

What do you really want to do?

If none of those appeal to you and you really feel you want to be alone then let your family and friends know this. But don’t do it to isolate yourself.   Do it only if you want to experience the holidays alone for the first time. This in itself can be therapeutic and cleansing. You may come to the realization that YES, you really do want to connect in some way with others.

It’s important to realize that you ARE, more than just what you EAT. You ARE creating a NEW you. It’s your new identity without your loved one. Therefore, begin to establish guidelines and boundaries for yourself.

It’s important to make it through the holidays and do what’s best for you. Honor yourself, and one day the holidays will be good for you again!

It’s a big step and you may not know where to begin. If you would like to take those steps I can offer you help. Click here to fill out a needs assessment form and schedule a free 20 minute consultation. 

Check out may most recent book here!

Love and Light,

Robin Chodak

P.S.  Some of you reading this have gone through your healing journey and feel that you are in a position to help others but don’t know where to start.  You are in the right place here at the Grief Healing LLC where you can be trained to become a certified grief healing coach.

Now available online: Udemy courses

Certified, Grief, Life, Spiritual coach. Certified Mindfulness Meditation teacher, Certified NLP Practitioner, Reiki Practitioner




I am a woman on a journey of recovery after the suicide of my husband in 2005. It has been a long voyage, but I was able to create a new identity and find happiness again after much hard work. I hope that I can help you along this path, too.

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